so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
