I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
