so that wasnt chicken after all
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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