just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
