if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
