party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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