Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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