I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
