hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
a search helicopter?!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
