Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
