is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
