She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just cropdusted the office
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
