btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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