I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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