How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
