Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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