I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
