Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
