you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize