You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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