We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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