Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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