I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
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