I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
