Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Even my vagina gasped.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
