YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
