Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
