I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
