why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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