Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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