He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
