I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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