So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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