It's Friday. Sex?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
