I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
