we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
