so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
