i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize