they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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