New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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