you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
