He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You're like the curious george of whores
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
