Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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