i need an iv and a liver transplant
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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