I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
