May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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