So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
