she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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