adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
