oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
