Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
