Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
