yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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