i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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