I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
