There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
