Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
